The Reproductive System
Cover art by Jack Gaughan
John Sladek (1937-2000) is an author that is completely new to
me. He wrote in many styles, mainly mystery and science fiction. He
also wrote under many pseudonyms, including a Gothic novel as "Cassandra
Kyne". He also wrote a book debunking many of the pseudosciences, such
as dowsing, parapsychology, and UFOs. I enjoyed Reproductive System
and Black Aura so much that I am now tracking down as much Sladek as I
can find! Results will appear below, eventually.
This wonderful book is a stark reminder of what is wrong with most science fiction novels and movies, especially the early ones from the 50s. They are too damned serious and full of themselves. And that goes for their heroes, too. This novel would not only have made a great SF flic; it could still be made into one. The topic is as timely as ever, and the writing, though from 1968 (this reprint is from 1974), could have been written in the fifties or yesterday. It would be great if made today, in the style of a fifties SF movie.
Some of the greatest imagery ever penned is contained in this book, especially the scenes featuring a steam train engine, and one with the Eiffel Tower (in space!), among others. Surrealism lives! The military is ridiculed (the marines aren't spared), and the CIA is hilariously spoofed, along with its Russian counterpart, the KGB. The educational institutions aren't forgotten (our hero has a degree from "MIT"), and neither are business institutions. Listening to a businessman and his son discuss how to get government grants for "research" is probably too close to the truth, though still uproariously funny. Marriage proposals have never been funnier, and yet just another characteristic incident hearkening back to classic SF movies. Even the staff room coffee machine is not spared from having fun poked at it.
The novel is a complete romp from start to finish, and should have you laughing out loud right from the beginning, along with much head shaking and eye rolling. Behind the laughter, of course, are tears. Runaway computers taking over missile launch sites, the Pentagon, and other key installations are events that are probably not too far away from us today, and really shouldn't be very funny. Though we laugh from page one onward, the horror is much slower to creep upon us. The mad scientist, Smilax, now sounds to us like some of the past mass shooters in America and elsewhere. Along with the Frankenstein brothers (and let's not forget General Gawk), there has seldom been more horrible bad guys in any fiction. We laugh at them, but then something nasty gets stuck in our throats.
John Sladek died in 2000. I will be tracking down more of his writing, so watch for it here. I already have his two detective novels(!), and will read them soon. This interview from 1982 is highly recommended, even if you have not read any of his books.
**** stars Reviewed August 1st, 2016
From 1968, this strange crime novel was written by John Sladek
and Thomas Disch. The outrageously racist cover is by Virginia Fritz.
Short story collection published in 1973.
The House That Fear Built
Cover artist unknown
From 1966 comes this Gothic page turner by Thomas Disch and John Sladek, writing as Cassandra Knye. If you ever wanted a novel from this category to instruct you as to what you should include in such a story, then this is the one. I don't know how many such books these authors read before setting out on their collaborative journey, but it must have been substantial. They likely had a checklist of what to include. The story is near perfect, with not a sentence wasted. The heroine depends only on her husband-to-be for support, and he isn't around very much. When he is, he never believes what she tells him. Nevertheless, she sticks by him.
All his relatives are cruel to her, but still she sticks it out, confident that she can win over everyone to her charm. Though heroine Nan is just a wee bit too trusting, she is intelligent. Just not intelligent enough. So, what else is on the check list? Mysterious person in the basement, possibly dangerous. Don't go there no matter what! However, Nan seems to spend a lot of time down there, snooping. Swastikas everywhere. Horseback riding. A mysterious, handsome stranger, who is also a bullfighter (the story takes place in Mexico). The grouchiest granny you ever met in your life, and she rules the roost. A handyman who hates all women. Poisonous lizards. Statues that fall off the roof, nearly killing Nan. An abandoned swimming pool. Nan is terrified of water, but she seems to always fall into the stagnant pool. One time she catches cold. Secret passageways. A really scary portrait. A mysterious blonde woman. Fireworks.
The climax is so outrageous that I laughed out loud several times. I have heard that there are people who really like these kind of books, and hang on every word. My copy was in its third printing when it came out in 1972! I have never read anything quite like this, so I enjoyed it immensely. I have read a few mysteries by John Dickson Carr that have some similarities. The writing is very good, and the novel is hard to put down once you get going. Strange fun!
*** stars. Reviewed Feb. 26th/17
The Castle and The Key
Cover art by Jerry Podwil
From 1967 comes Sladek's 2nd novel, another Gothic howler. If I had read this novel a few years from now, I likely would have thought it was exactly the same story as The House That Fear Built, above. But since I read that one just a few weeks ago, I managed to find one or two differences. Essentially, though, it is the same story, except the heroine in this one is a little denser. Despite no one liking her, her husband accusing her of poisoning him, getting slapped by another woman, attacked by an animal, her kitten poisoned, and then being treated like an old carpet, she hangs in there. Why? Because she loves her husband, of course. He is an architect, a lord, and such a great guy!
The dead bodies and the mysteries keep piling up, and the plot moves along like a raging, muddy hillside torrent. No one doubts Sladek's ability to write extremely well; it is just so surprising to encounter him here (as a woman, no less). Despite the over-the-top gothic-ness of it all, it is easy to see his future mystery stories developing, Black Aura and Invisible Green. Those are two very good mystery stories. And I suppose the two gothic novels are very good gothic novels, too. Though probably one of my least favourite genres of literature, Sladek kept me reading to the last page. Of course I laughed out loud several times at the totally outrageous developments, and the heroine's inability to do anything at all except feel disoriented and stunned.
He obviously worked from a formula he created, though the poor guy likely had to read several of these type of books before coming up with it. Maybe he read this stuff as a teen, finding it lying around his house. Scary to think he may have gone out and bought some of it. Anyway, have no fear of encountering poor writing; this stuff is written to make you turn pages, and it does. It's just all so silly. Nowadays the Paperback Library Gothic (look it up on Google Images, etc.) has a cult following. Even the least of his writing will be remembered long into the future. Hopefully so will his best.
*** stars. Reviewed April 4th/17
Black Alice
and Thomas Disch. The outrageously racist cover is by Virginia Fritz.
I can understand why Sladek and Disch, both SF writers, wanted this novel to be under a pseudonym. Written in 1968, it highlights some of the goings on in the American south during the civil rights marches and sit downs. Right smack in the middle of this mess is the kidnapping of an 11 year old girl. She is white, and has a large inheritance coming to her when she is of age. Her captors turn her skin black, cut her blonde locks and curl them so she resembles a black girl. She wears sunglasses to hide her blue eyes.
Alice is a very intelligent girl, smarter than most of the adults she knows, and is due to skip from Gr. 6 to Gr. 8 in the autumn when she returns to school. The main part of the story revolves around Alice and the enormous and sickly black woman who looks after her during the ordeal. Alice is a prisoner in a whore house for much of the story, a situation that is alternately amusing and horrifying. Bessy is the huge house mother, and her two working women are completely off the wall. One is a white simpleton with the body of a woman but the mind of a small child, while the other one is a black, man-hating, mean-tempered bitch. Bessy is a good person, but has been led astray for most of her life. Her main goal is to raise enough money for a lavish coffin and eternal flame over her soon-to-be-occupied grave. Alice has to survive in this environment, and her mental health, once nearly ruined by her abusive father, soon suffers a major backslide.
The story is pretty hard-hitting. I have no intention of giving away the ending, but it did not turn out as I expected. I found the novel upsetting to read, yet I could not put it down, finishing its 224 pages in two days. We get a very close look at the KKK and what exactly was happening back then. Probably only people who grew up during that time can really understand the full horror of what went on. Alice gets to see a lot of it happen, too.
I've come to know Sladek as a SF writer, a mystery writer, a gothic horror writer, and now a crime novelist. His pen is versatile, and it can poke deeply into things most people would rather leave untouched. I had to hunt down this book on the internet, and I am glad I did. There are many references throughout to Lewis Carroll's version of Alice, some that are amusing, and some that scare us into realizing how terrifying and unsettling life can sometimes be. This is a hard book to recommend, but if you've read Roderick or Tik-Tok, you will be able to easily handle this one. Would I recommend it to a black reader? That's a very tough question. I know I would very much like to discuss this book with a person of colour. Recommended with some reservations.
***1/2 stars. Reviewed May 16th/17
The Muller-Fokker Effect
From 1970, this is a gut-wrenching book. As I watch the news unfold from President Trump's first week in office, John Sladek could have easily believed such things would come to pass. Only three years after riots devastated Detroit and other American cities, Sladek writes this book about hate, racism, fascism, religion, and computers. I report with great sadness that the messages in the book are as relevant today as they were in 1970.
Sladek doesn't just devastate the reader, however. This is not a lecture in how to behave better; it is one of the grandest comedies ever penned. Like most great comedies, there is considerably more tragedy than humour, and there is plenty of humour. An insignificant man gets his DNA transferred to a special kind of computer tape. The tape is rare and valuable, though no one realizes that Bob Shairp is actually on it. The tape get split up and used in various different ways, including religious revival and healing meetings, as well as in military deployment software. The results virtually end the world as we know it.
Sladek is a writer like no other. His SF work contains no aliens, no off-world monsters, no UFOs, or even space ships. Instead, he writes about humans in such a way as to prove who the real aliens are; us! He always has funny and important things to say about TV, art, religion (especially religion in this novel), the military, along with many other proud institutions. He has a way of using dialogue, at parties for instance, that make it sound as if we are passing through a room and catching parts of different conversations. In fact, to attend one of Sladek's party creations is a real treat, and an experience to be treasured.
Don't expect a straight forward narrative with Sladek, and don't expect a single reading to cover the bases. I am already looking forward to re-reading this novel in the near future. To be honest it seemed to lose focus in the middle, but I'm certain that was just me. When reading a Sladek novel it is wise to keep a list of main characters handy and a brief description of their role. Sometimes people go away for a long period, and then suddenly re-emerge. It's easy to forget exactly who they were. There are a lot of characters in this story. They are all important in one way or another.
Sladek is fast becoming one of my very favourite SF writers, already in the top 5. His preferred style is chaotic writing, as if a madman had grabbed the pen and began to frantically scribble things down before he was recaptured and had his straight-jacket replaced. If you can handle it, his works are pure gold. You'll laugh, you'll cry. Then you'll cry some more.
**** stars. Reviewed Jan. 28th/17
The Steam-Driven Boy
The Secret of the Old Custard is from 1966, one of the earliest things he published. At 7 pages, it tells the story of Agnes, who finds a baby in her oven, and Glen, her hardly working husband. When a priest comes to visit, all is revealed! A tale of cross and double cross, and old custard in the shape of a map. Classic Sladek, already! *** stars.
The Aggressor is from 1969, and was first published in Amazing Stories. Its 8 pages tell of the head of a great computer company who must submit to three tests. It matters not if he passes the first two, but the third one is all-important. Will "G" figure out how to pass? The first two tests are hilarious!
*** 1/2 stars.
*** 1/2 stars.
Sladek's "The Aggressor" was first published here in March, 1969.
The Best-Seller is from 1966, first published in Strange Faeces. It is 13 pages long, and actually contains 8 short stories, with the last one given a rewrite so the grisly ending could be changed to end happily for the publisher. Interesting writing, though not SF, it shows how Sladek's mind works very differently from the rest of us writers. An interesting experiment. **1/2 stars.
Is There Death on Other Planets?, also from 1966, was first published in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine under a different title. At 10 pages, it is a humourous tale of SF intrigue, as Peter is relentlessly pursued by aliens for his satchel. *** stars.
The Happy Breed is from 1967 and first published in Harlan Ellison's "Dangerous Visions" omnibus. It certainly fits well under the heading "dangerous visions"! What exactly would it be like if everyone was happy? What would have to happen for it to be achieved? Sladek has an answer to those questions. This is a pretty straight-forward story of 19 pages, and is one of the best. **** stars.
A Report on the Migrations of Educational Materials, from 1968 (Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction), is a 7 page story of books that fly south. Some wonderful imagery, and it would make a fabulous short animated feature. *** 1/2 stars.
The Singular Visitor From Not-Yet first appeared in Playboy, 1968. It is a pretty neat little story (11 pages) about time travel, with a reverse twist. It is an epistle, with short written letters sent between three old friends. It would have made a great Twilight Zone episode!
*** stars.
The Short, Happy Wife of Mansard Elliot, at 7 pages, is from 1971, first appearing in New Worlds Quarterly. Sladek can write in the driest style anyone could imagine. I'm not certain of the point of this story, but it is readable and does, in places, make sense. ** 1/2 stars.
The Momster is from 1969, first appearing in Fantastic Magazine. It is only 8 pages, but it gives a very good idea of what it might be like to be a "Space Explorer." Living on a sandy planet with a robot that takes good care of you... *** 1/2 stars.
1937 A.D.! was published in New Worlds in 1967. In 10 pages Sladek gives us a story that once again would fit nicely into Rod Serling's Twilight Zone. A boy invents a time machine, escaping his 1880s life for the wonders and magic of 1937. Instead he finds many things exactly the same. He soon finds the Universal Synopsis in the local library, and gets a lesson in how to change the events of the past. Olde-fashioned fun, with more twists than a twizzler! *** stars.
Secret Identity, first published here, is also 10 pages long. Sladek again unleashes his word madness upon a now suspecting reader. It's like he suddenly goes off his meds, or perhaps back on them. We are faced with a (now) typical party scene from the author, and all of the madness that usually ensues does. It could be a scene from either Roderick or Tic-Tok, which had not yet been written. Plays on words and constantly evolving situations are more important than plot in this story. Perhaps not as manic as his later stories would become, but some readers will certainly feel challenged by the end. Though I find Sladek refreshing, a full-time dosage of this sort of thing could kill me. *** stars.
The Transcendental Sandwich, first published here, is 7 pages of coherent SF about an alien race purporting to want to help humans become smarter. Their methods work quite well, as Claude Mabry, a man with limited interest in learning and books, soon finds himself a voracious reader and one of the world's smartest men. Before he begins each new lesson, he has to eat a particular sandwich that comes packaged along with the books. Great fun, and the last line of the story is one of the funniest I have ever read. *** 1/2 stars.
The Steam-Driven Boy, first published here, gives an excellent illustration of the depth of Sladek's imagination, and his skill in handling it in words. Once again time travel is involved, as opponents of a particularly unlovable President (who surrounds himself in the White Fort with millions of heat-seeking missiles) try to go back in time, kidnap him when he is a boy, and thus avoid his becoming president. Such a good plan; how could it possibly go wrong?
**** stars.
The Parodies
There now follow 10 short stories by Sladek parodying the works of 10 famous authors...
The Purloined Butter, by Edgar Allen Poe, is a 3-page mystery filled with creaky atmosphere, along with Sladek's dry wit. It's easy to tell that his mystery novels are on the horizon. ** 1/2 stars.
Pemberly's Start-Afresh Calliope, by H. G. Wells, was first published in New World Quarterly in 1971, and is 9 pages long. Pemberly constructs an instrument that appears to make his life much more interesting. He decides to pass it on to a friend when he dies. Some gift! *** stars.
Ralph 4H, by Hugo Gernsback, is a 5 page attempt to pay tribute to the man after whom the HUGO SF Award is named. Sometimes called the father of SF, Gernsback wrote SF novels (including Ralph 124C 41+, from 1911), founded several SF magazines, and was an inventor. I have not read any Gernsback (one is up-coming in the Avon/Equinox Series!), but what I have read about his stories convinces me that Sladek has made the most of a writer who seems to parody SF and invent it at the same time. In the title area, Sladek awards the writer the 1911 Hugogre Award! ** 1/2 stars.
Engineer to the Gods, by Robert Heinlein, spoofs the famous author in this 6 page story. There are girls in bikinis, lots of major engineering feats, and a trip to the moon. It all ends in a happy marriage. *** stars.
Broot Force is by Isaac Asimov, and is a 5 page reproval of the famous author's 3 rules that robots must follow. Sladek always made it a point in later books to rip apart the 3 rules, and he begins well here. A very funny story, with some wonderful use of language. *** 1/2 stars.
Joy Ride purports to be by Ray Bradbury, and is actually quite a touching tribute to the author. The story can be taken as a parody, but works just as well as a minor story by Bradbury. *** stars.
The Moon is Sixpence, by Arthur C. Clarke, is a three page story of one of the world's best kept secrets. Amusing. ** 1/2 stars.
Solar Shoe Salesman is by Philip K. Dick. For several of the parodied authors Sladek rearranges the letters of their name and creates new ones from them. Some of the funniest rearranging one could ever imagine comes out of this 8-page story, divided into 14 chapters. How about Chipdip K Kill? Or perhaps Killhip D. Pick. Or even H. K. (Kid) Cliplip. Too funny! Two shoe companies rule the planet. The activist protestors are barefoot. There are auto-gyros. Great stuff! *** 1/2 stars.
One Damned Thing After Another is by Cordwainer Smith. In its 6 pages we land on the planet Chicago, and visit the Shrine of the Seventh Type of Ambiguity, and also the Venn Diagram Lakes. The hero riddles an old computer, stumps it, and receives a secret in return. The riddle has to be one of the funniest ever written, and is a wonderful spoof on such things. ("What has one leg in the morning, four legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening, and when is a door not a door?") I laughed out loud at the answer. I also loved the assistance given by the budgieman. The bad guy had destroyed the hero's family. The way the wife and two kids were murdered also ranks as among the most humourous demises in literature. But the hero's revenge is sweet. Even the computer seems pleased with things. **** stars.
The Sublimation World, by J.G. Ballard, was published in 1969 in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (a Ballard story is coming up later in the Avon/Equinox series). There are bright colours. There are pterodactyls. There are strange, nearly empty landscapes. There is a mysterious ending. Sladek's last sentence is also one of the most poetic and beautiful endings to any story I have ever read. *** stars.
Is There Death on Other Planets?, also from 1966, was first published in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine under a different title. At 10 pages, it is a humourous tale of SF intrigue, as Peter is relentlessly pursued by aliens for his satchel. *** stars.
The Happy Breed is from 1967 and first published in Harlan Ellison's "Dangerous Visions" omnibus. It certainly fits well under the heading "dangerous visions"! What exactly would it be like if everyone was happy? What would have to happen for it to be achieved? Sladek has an answer to those questions. This is a pretty straight-forward story of 19 pages, and is one of the best. **** stars.
A Report on the Migrations of Educational Materials, from 1968 (Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction), is a 7 page story of books that fly south. Some wonderful imagery, and it would make a fabulous short animated feature. *** 1/2 stars.
The Singular Visitor From Not-Yet first appeared in Playboy, 1968. It is a pretty neat little story (11 pages) about time travel, with a reverse twist. It is an epistle, with short written letters sent between three old friends. It would have made a great Twilight Zone episode!
*** stars.
The Short, Happy Wife of Mansard Elliot, at 7 pages, is from 1971, first appearing in New Worlds Quarterly. Sladek can write in the driest style anyone could imagine. I'm not certain of the point of this story, but it is readable and does, in places, make sense. ** 1/2 stars.
The Momster is from 1969, first appearing in Fantastic Magazine. It is only 8 pages, but it gives a very good idea of what it might be like to be a "Space Explorer." Living on a sandy planet with a robot that takes good care of you... *** 1/2 stars.
1937 A.D.! was published in New Worlds in 1967. In 10 pages Sladek gives us a story that once again would fit nicely into Rod Serling's Twilight Zone. A boy invents a time machine, escaping his 1880s life for the wonders and magic of 1937. Instead he finds many things exactly the same. He soon finds the Universal Synopsis in the local library, and gets a lesson in how to change the events of the past. Olde-fashioned fun, with more twists than a twizzler! *** stars.
Secret Identity, first published here, is also 10 pages long. Sladek again unleashes his word madness upon a now suspecting reader. It's like he suddenly goes off his meds, or perhaps back on them. We are faced with a (now) typical party scene from the author, and all of the madness that usually ensues does. It could be a scene from either Roderick or Tic-Tok, which had not yet been written. Plays on words and constantly evolving situations are more important than plot in this story. Perhaps not as manic as his later stories would become, but some readers will certainly feel challenged by the end. Though I find Sladek refreshing, a full-time dosage of this sort of thing could kill me. *** stars.
The Transcendental Sandwich, first published here, is 7 pages of coherent SF about an alien race purporting to want to help humans become smarter. Their methods work quite well, as Claude Mabry, a man with limited interest in learning and books, soon finds himself a voracious reader and one of the world's smartest men. Before he begins each new lesson, he has to eat a particular sandwich that comes packaged along with the books. Great fun, and the last line of the story is one of the funniest I have ever read. *** 1/2 stars.
The Steam-Driven Boy, first published here, gives an excellent illustration of the depth of Sladek's imagination, and his skill in handling it in words. Once again time travel is involved, as opponents of a particularly unlovable President (who surrounds himself in the White Fort with millions of heat-seeking missiles) try to go back in time, kidnap him when he is a boy, and thus avoid his becoming president. Such a good plan; how could it possibly go wrong?
**** stars.
The Parodies
There now follow 10 short stories by Sladek parodying the works of 10 famous authors...
The Purloined Butter, by Edgar Allen Poe, is a 3-page mystery filled with creaky atmosphere, along with Sladek's dry wit. It's easy to tell that his mystery novels are on the horizon. ** 1/2 stars.
Pemberly's Start-Afresh Calliope, by H. G. Wells, was first published in New World Quarterly in 1971, and is 9 pages long. Pemberly constructs an instrument that appears to make his life much more interesting. He decides to pass it on to a friend when he dies. Some gift! *** stars.
Ralph 4H, by Hugo Gernsback, is a 5 page attempt to pay tribute to the man after whom the HUGO SF Award is named. Sometimes called the father of SF, Gernsback wrote SF novels (including Ralph 124C 41+, from 1911), founded several SF magazines, and was an inventor. I have not read any Gernsback (one is up-coming in the Avon/Equinox Series!), but what I have read about his stories convinces me that Sladek has made the most of a writer who seems to parody SF and invent it at the same time. In the title area, Sladek awards the writer the 1911 Hugogre Award! ** 1/2 stars.
Engineer to the Gods, by Robert Heinlein, spoofs the famous author in this 6 page story. There are girls in bikinis, lots of major engineering feats, and a trip to the moon. It all ends in a happy marriage. *** stars.
Broot Force is by Isaac Asimov, and is a 5 page reproval of the famous author's 3 rules that robots must follow. Sladek always made it a point in later books to rip apart the 3 rules, and he begins well here. A very funny story, with some wonderful use of language. *** 1/2 stars.
Joy Ride purports to be by Ray Bradbury, and is actually quite a touching tribute to the author. The story can be taken as a parody, but works just as well as a minor story by Bradbury. *** stars.
The Moon is Sixpence, by Arthur C. Clarke, is a three page story of one of the world's best kept secrets. Amusing. ** 1/2 stars.
Solar Shoe Salesman is by Philip K. Dick. For several of the parodied authors Sladek rearranges the letters of their name and creates new ones from them. Some of the funniest rearranging one could ever imagine comes out of this 8-page story, divided into 14 chapters. How about Chipdip K Kill? Or perhaps Killhip D. Pick. Or even H. K. (Kid) Cliplip. Too funny! Two shoe companies rule the planet. The activist protestors are barefoot. There are auto-gyros. Great stuff! *** 1/2 stars.
One Damned Thing After Another is by Cordwainer Smith. In its 6 pages we land on the planet Chicago, and visit the Shrine of the Seventh Type of Ambiguity, and also the Venn Diagram Lakes. The hero riddles an old computer, stumps it, and receives a secret in return. The riddle has to be one of the funniest ever written, and is a wonderful spoof on such things. ("What has one leg in the morning, four legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening, and when is a door not a door?") I laughed out loud at the answer. I also loved the assistance given by the budgieman. The bad guy had destroyed the hero's family. The way the wife and two kids were murdered also ranks as among the most humourous demises in literature. But the hero's revenge is sweet. Even the computer seems pleased with things. **** stars.
The Sublimation World, by J.G. Ballard, was published in 1969 in the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction (a Ballard story is coming up later in the Avon/Equinox series). There are bright colours. There are pterodactyls. There are strange, nearly empty landscapes. There is a mysterious ending. Sladek's last sentence is also one of the most poetic and beautiful endings to any story I have ever read. *** stars.
Black Aura
From 1974
John Sladek was a versatile writer. He wrote two mystery novels starring amateur detective Thackeray Phin, along with two short stories. I have the two novels, which will be reviewed here, and will try and track down the short stories. I am also hunting down more SF by Mr. Sladek. Even if you are not a fan of mystery novels, this one is a must read. In the 70s, one of Mr. Sladek's hobbies was writing about the occult, and debunking its mysteries. He is an expert in the field! All of this information comes in very handy in Black Aura, the tale of an occult society.
We get the inside scoop, as the detective is invited to take up residence by the head psychic, Mrs. Webb. She asks Phin to try and discover who has been taking money from the accounts. Three or so murders later, Phin is on to the culprit! This is such a delightful book! Fans of the Sherlock Holmes stories will certainly enjoy following Phin as he gains clues and knowledge. His daydreams are a highlight of the novel. Though not as laugh-out-loud funny as Reproductive System, there are enough laughs to keep both non-mystery and mystery fans engaged in the story.
Sladek also wrote and published two clue books, where the reader has to try and solve short locked room mysteries with only the given clues. I used to like these kinds of books, and perchance even had one by Sladek at one time. Several, if not most of the mysteries in the novel are of the locked room type. The black aura of the title refers to the aura around a person just before they die.
The amount of detail that the author reveals about the inner goings on of such an occult society is indicative of how much research he did on the subject. He undoubtedly lived with such a group at one time, while researching his debunking books. He lampoons the entire set up, but the vegetarian meals served at the house are always a highlight (note, I am a vegetarian, and found the topic treatment absolutely hilarious!).
For mystery novel fans, this book is a keeper. For John Sladek fans, this book is a keeper. For casual readers who don't like either SF or mystery novels, it's still a keeper!
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 9th, 2016
Invisible Green
Cover art by Laurie McBarnette
Thackeray Phin makes his final appearance (1977) in this wonderful murder/mystery novel, solving one of the most puzzling cases ever penned. Sladek is a genius at devising and executing murder plots, and we are only too happy to tag along for the adventure of a lifetime. Too bad that Inspector Gaylord is such a dunce in this novel--by now he should know better than to doubt Phin.
Who is murdering the members, one by one, of the Seven Unravellers, a group of fans of murder in fiction? Phin has no idea, and neither do we. Sladek is witty, as usual, and very forthright in giving out clues, though he is sly enough to keep us guessing till the very end. Even though he wrote only two mystery novels (and the two Phin short stories in Maps, below), he is easily one of the finest of the bunch. If only Phin had caught on with readers in the 1970s we might have had many more stories in this unbeatable series. Alas, mystery writing was not selling well, and he turned his attention to SF.
This is a must-read for mystery fans, and certainly for Sladek fans. Great writing and so much fun to read!
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed Sept. 24th/16
The Face
is 8 pages long, and never before published. It is one of the more
coherent stories. A face is discovered on a hill in a park. The plot
doesn't sound like much, but it results in a pretty big event.
***1/2 stars.
The Master Plan is from 1969, and is 13 pages. This is very good experimental writing. 9 different fonts are used to tell the story from a different perspective. The actual story is about a dying, cancer-ridden general who is attempting to finish his master plan before he dies. As he nears death, the narrative makes less and less sense. A fun little story to read.
*** stars.
Flatland is 5 pages long, and is from 1973. I have a few favourite moments in this strange little tale, including the gypsy fortune telling, and Bill, summing up for the defence. Lots of good parts to chew on here.
***1/2 stars.
A Game of Jump is published here for the first time. It is written using only a 307-word vocabulary (see author's footnote at bottom of first page), and is 7 pages long. Think of it as a Surrealist soap opera, in colour, with limited vocabulary.
*** stars.
The Hammer of Evil is from 1975, and is 7 pages long. The story subtitle is "Career Opportunities at the Pascal Business School." A few classic lines from this entertaining story of two men imprisoned by aliens: "I begin inventing the past, as it really was." "I was investigating a murder--or its opposite, really." "The train wheels begin to scream. I know what's happened: the tracks are getting narrower as we near the horizon." Sladek tells a story of two men escaping their cell (in an ingenious way, of course) as aliens and paradoxes surround them. Superlative writing.
**** stars.
The Locked Room is only five pages, and from 1972. I have come to really enjoy Sladek's mystery writing (see below), and he is a master at the locked room variety. In this amusing tale, famous private detective Fenton Worth comes up against the ultimate version of such a mystery. Can he solve it? You bet. But will it avail him any? The ending is very funny, and the last word in locked room mysteries.
**** stars.
Another Look is 3 pages long, and is from 1975. A robot survives the final holocaust, and muses upon things as he flips through old books and comics. A very introspective story.
*** stars.
Space Shoes of the Gods: An Archeological Revelation: First published here, this biting piece of satire is 5 pages long. Responding to books of the time such as "Chariots of the Gods," Sladek is at his most caustic in these pages. In addition to writing fiction he also wrote a book debunking mystics, ESP, and the like. The pen really can be mightier than the sword.
The Poets of Millgrove, Iowa is from 1966, and is 5 pages long. An astronaut is honoured by the small town where he was born. At least for a short time.
*** stars.
The Commentaries is also 5 pages long. It was published in 1969. This is a brilliant essay on criticism, featuring 5 different critics writing reviews, including a fictional review of this story. Great fun!
***1/2 stars.
Heavens Below: Fifteen Utopias is 8 pages long, and published in 1975. There are 15 very short stories in this chapter, most of them more brilliant than anything ever written. Very funny stuff!
**** stars.
Scenes From Rural Life is 14 pages, and is from 1975. Another near-nonsense story, this one about keeping farm animals fed with a little help from city folk. Avante Garde writing at its purest.
*** stars.
The Secret of The Old Custard pits a husband and wife against Diaper Man and his evil accomplice. Published as The Babe in the Oven in Nov. 1966, it is an unforgettable 5 pages long.
***1/2 stars.
Undecember is 6 pages long, and was published in 1976. Welcome to a random month with random days, courtesy of John Sladek. I mean, why not? Sounds like a great idea. Definitely a nod here to Lewis Carroll.
*** stars.
The Great Wall of Mexico is from 1973, and, at 23 pages, is the longest story in the book. It is also arguably the best. It is divided into 4 sections, each with sub-chapters. It is astonishingly timely, as the current US president was voted in recently for saying he would build such a wall. This story needs to be republished now, and its hard-biting satire given to new generations. A masterpiece of writing.
**** stars.
Reviews finished June 14th/17
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed Sept. 24th/16
Judgement of Jupiter
Actually penned by John Sladek, published in 1980.
John
Sladek, one of my heroes, has written a pseudo-science book of the
worst kind. It is the kind where one searches for evidence to back up
certain theories, such as Jupiter aligning with Pluto, which can affect nearly
everything that happens on Earth, and then completely avoiding any
evidence to the contrary. This, from a man who spent so much time
debunking mediums and astrology, suddenly writes a book supporting
nearly every crackpot theory ever stated. Hoax? Yes, of course, but in very bad taste and written with too much earnest.
I
really started to groan when he talked about full moons and their
affect on people. How many times does a theory such as this resurface,
and have to be debunked? I was a grade school classroom teacher for 29
years. I am an avid amateur astronomer. When I say I would have
noticed odd behaviour in children during full moons, I mean it. After a
particularly nutty school-wide day, other teachers would of course try
to blame a full moon. "Um," I would reply, "that's not for another
week." And again, "No, sorry, that was last week." Not surprisingly,
about once in 20 times (the number of school days in a month) it would co-incide, and I would never hear the end of it. As for Pluto influencing anything except
perhaps its moon Charon, what can I say? NOT! He even sites
Nostrodamus, and makes dire predictions for 1999. Remember those?
I
am not going to waste any more words on this book. I thought perhaps
when I bought it that Sladek would humourously debunk the myths perpetrated in
here. But he supports them quite enthusiastically. Avoid this book,
please. A few parts are okay for the time, as he summarizes what was
known then about the planets. I'm not a really big advocate of burning
books, but this one just might make decent kindling in the near future. Even if it was written apparently as a hoax, he went too far here, purposely leading dummies over the cliff edge, just because he can.
* star. Reviewed July 22nd. Keep The Giraffe Burning
Cover design by Juha Lindroos
This
collection of unusual short stories was first published in 1977. My
edition is from 2004. There are 17 stories in the volume, plus a
forward by Sladek and an afterward by our good friend Cassandra Kyne
(see reviews of Gothic novels, above). As the collection title might
indicate, there is some Surrealism involved in these stories. From
Sladek's intro:
"Probably what was wrong with Surrealism all along was that it got
defined precisely and interpreted exactly. Nothing can stand up to
that."
Opening
a book like this and beginning to read is a bit like having your oxygen
content suddenly adjusted to a level you are not used to. Some
dizziness may occur....
Elephant With Wooden Leg
is classic Sladek. It is bewildering, and not in a mild way. First
published in Galaxy (June, 1975), the story is 14 pages long. It
doesn't help to read this when you are tired, just before turning out
the light for the night. So read it twice. Ah, that... helps. But
only by a slight amount. A group of scientists, driven mad by their
work, come up with a plan to send cockroaches into space. This is a
very funny story, and only marginally sane people will likely enjoy it.
After reading, flip to Kyne's Afterward, at the very end.
*** 1/2 stars.
The Design
is from 1968, and is only 3 pages long. Surely you can last three
pages, yes? Make this a test, to see if you can. After viewing the
diagram at the conclusion, read the story again. Ah! Now it makes so much more sense. Doesn't it?
*** stars.
***1/2 stars.
The Master Plan is from 1969, and is 13 pages. This is very good experimental writing. 9 different fonts are used to tell the story from a different perspective. The actual story is about a dying, cancer-ridden general who is attempting to finish his master plan before he dies. As he nears death, the narrative makes less and less sense. A fun little story to read.
*** stars.
Flatland is 5 pages long, and is from 1973. I have a few favourite moments in this strange little tale, including the gypsy fortune telling, and Bill, summing up for the defence. Lots of good parts to chew on here.
***1/2 stars.
A Game of Jump is published here for the first time. It is written using only a 307-word vocabulary (see author's footnote at bottom of first page), and is 7 pages long. Think of it as a Surrealist soap opera, in colour, with limited vocabulary.
*** stars.
The Hammer of Evil is from 1975, and is 7 pages long. The story subtitle is "Career Opportunities at the Pascal Business School." A few classic lines from this entertaining story of two men imprisoned by aliens: "I begin inventing the past, as it really was." "I was investigating a murder--or its opposite, really." "The train wheels begin to scream. I know what's happened: the tracks are getting narrower as we near the horizon." Sladek tells a story of two men escaping their cell (in an ingenious way, of course) as aliens and paradoxes surround them. Superlative writing.
**** stars.
The Locked Room is only five pages, and from 1972. I have come to really enjoy Sladek's mystery writing (see below), and he is a master at the locked room variety. In this amusing tale, famous private detective Fenton Worth comes up against the ultimate version of such a mystery. Can he solve it? You bet. But will it avail him any? The ending is very funny, and the last word in locked room mysteries.
**** stars.
Another Look is 3 pages long, and is from 1975. A robot survives the final holocaust, and muses upon things as he flips through old books and comics. A very introspective story.
*** stars.
Space Shoes of the Gods: An Archeological Revelation: First published here, this biting piece of satire is 5 pages long. Responding to books of the time such as "Chariots of the Gods," Sladek is at his most caustic in these pages. In addition to writing fiction he also wrote a book debunking mystics, ESP, and the like. The pen really can be mightier than the sword.
The Poets of Millgrove, Iowa is from 1966, and is 5 pages long. An astronaut is honoured by the small town where he was born. At least for a short time.
*** stars.
The Commentaries is also 5 pages long. It was published in 1969. This is a brilliant essay on criticism, featuring 5 different critics writing reviews, including a fictional review of this story. Great fun!
***1/2 stars.
Heavens Below: Fifteen Utopias is 8 pages long, and published in 1975. There are 15 very short stories in this chapter, most of them more brilliant than anything ever written. Very funny stuff!
**** stars.
Scenes From Rural Life is 14 pages, and is from 1975. Another near-nonsense story, this one about keeping farm animals fed with a little help from city folk. Avante Garde writing at its purest.
*** stars.
The Secret of The Old Custard pits a husband and wife against Diaper Man and his evil accomplice. Published as The Babe in the Oven in Nov. 1966, it is an unforgettable 5 pages long.
***1/2 stars.
Undecember is 6 pages long, and was published in 1976. Welcome to a random month with random days, courtesy of John Sladek. I mean, why not? Sounds like a great idea. Definitely a nod here to Lewis Carroll.
*** stars.
The Great Wall of Mexico is from 1973, and, at 23 pages, is the longest story in the book. It is also arguably the best. It is divided into 4 sections, each with sub-chapters. It is astonishingly timely, as the current US president was voted in recently for saying he would build such a wall. This story needs to be republished now, and its hard-biting satire given to new generations. A masterpiece of writing.
**** stars.
Reviews finished June 14th/17
Alien Accounts
Cover design by Gary Nurrish.
First published in 1988, my copy is from 2005.
Another collection of short fiction by John Sladek convinces me that everything this man writes is unusual and difficult to categorize. I love his fiction, and am saddened to see my reading list of his work growing very short. There are 8 works in this collection, with the first and last ones being novelettes. There is also a short introduction by the author. If you were ever ten years old and read books with titles like "My 5th Grade Teacher is an Alien," then you will be able to relate to this collection. Think of it as a "My Boss and Co-workers are Aliens" and you will begin to understand where the reader is headed in this volume. Have fun! Note: No real aliens were encountered in the reading of this book.
Masterson and The Clerks was first published in 1967, and is 36 pages long. Henry C. Henry goes job hunting, and lands a clerk's position working for Mr. Masterson. The book begins light and fluffy and very humourous, and gradually works its way down to the beaurocratic bottom of the mud-filled pond. Some incredibly rich writing enlivens this not-to-missed tale, written for anyone who has every had to handle paperwork or fill out forms. Here is part of a boss's memo, stuck on a bulletin board, entitled My Childhood:
...My mother I hardly remember, except as a ghostly figure standing silent by the electric kitchen range, almost an aura thrown off by the back burners. She liked to stir things. To my knowledge, she never spoke.
That is a very small sample of classic John Sladek writing. I loved this story, which seems to be a combination of Dickens and Kafka.
**** stars. Reviewed Aug. 28th/17.
New Forms is 5 pages long, and is from 1968. We are presented with 4 forms created by the author, and one table. I especially like the Poetry Itemization Form, and the Character Simulation Form. Too funny!
*** stars. Reviewed August 28th/17
198-, A Tale of 'Tomorrow is from 1970, and is 4 pages long. It's a bit like reading a section of a Hugo Gernsback novel. Note that in John's collection entitled The Steam-Driven Boy, he does dedicate a story to Ralph 124C!
**1/2 stars. Reviewed August 28th/17.
Scenes From The Country of The Blind is from 1976, and is 13 pages long. It was published in a collection of stories entitled A Book of Contemporary Nightmares. A very catchy title! This is one of Mr. Sladek's rare normally written stories, having to do with three scientists working at ESP experiments, and a sceptic who accepts nothing at face value. If you have read Sladek's Black Aura or Invisible Green, above, you already know that the author is a master at locked room mysteries and such. Where one man sees psychic things happening, another man explains things from a rational and scientific angle, as would Sherlock Holmes. A very good story.
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 28th/17
The Interstate is from 1971, and is 11 pages long. This is my nomination for the best short story ever written!! Seriously, this tale of a man taking a bus to a resort for his annual two-week summer vacation goes beyond what I ever thought possible for short fiction. Do not miss! This would make the best Twilight Zone episode ever created!
**** stars. Reviewed Aug. 28th/17
Name (Please Print): is from 1973 and is 6 pages long. It is a modern horror story about a man who cannot prove he exists. A series of events has conspired to erase his name from the annals of legal existence. No birth certificate, no baptism certificate, etc. etc. Without the proper forms, we are nothing.
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
Anxietal Register B is from 1969, and consists of a 7-page form to fill out. Sladek hits many nails on their tiny heads with this one. You may even fill it out if you so wish. Extra sheets may be attached.
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
The Communicants is also from 1969. At 46 pages, it is the longest story in the collection. It is also the most disappointing. It has clever lines, fun words (and word lists), silly, nearly meaningless characters, quirky and oddball situations, humourous turns of phrase, no plot.... in short, everything one comes to expect from a John Sladek story. Except this one runs far too long, goes nowhere, and becomes a chore to finish reading. The overall effect is of someone off his meds trying to meet a writing deadline.
** stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 28th/17
The Interstate is from 1971, and is 11 pages long. This is my nomination for the best short story ever written!! Seriously, this tale of a man taking a bus to a resort for his annual two-week summer vacation goes beyond what I ever thought possible for short fiction. Do not miss! This would make the best Twilight Zone episode ever created!
**** stars. Reviewed Aug. 28th/17
Name (Please Print): is from 1973 and is 6 pages long. It is a modern horror story about a man who cannot prove he exists. A series of events has conspired to erase his name from the annals of legal existence. No birth certificate, no baptism certificate, etc. etc. Without the proper forms, we are nothing.
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
Anxietal Register B is from 1969, and consists of a 7-page form to fill out. Sladek hits many nails on their tiny heads with this one. You may even fill it out if you so wish. Extra sheets may be attached.
*** 1/2 stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
The Communicants is also from 1969. At 46 pages, it is the longest story in the collection. It is also the most disappointing. It has clever lines, fun words (and word lists), silly, nearly meaningless characters, quirky and oddball situations, humourous turns of phrase, no plot.... in short, everything one comes to expect from a John Sladek story. Except this one runs far too long, goes nowhere, and becomes a chore to finish reading. The overall effect is of someone off his meds trying to meet a writing deadline.
** stars. Reviewed August 29th/17
The Lunatics Of Terra
Originally from 1984, but republished in 2005
The Sladek I have come to know and love is back with 18 more short stories, written between 1973 and 1984, including several first published in this collection. The author writes a short afterword to each story, some of which are helpful in understanding how they came about. Others are like more short stories, and some are very funny. I always look forward to new (for me) books by Sladek.
The Last of the Whaleburgers is from 1984, and was first published in this collection. It is 8 pages long. It is the hilarious story of a couple (a couple of what we never really learn) working through their marriage and rediscovering their love for one another, even though they only get to see their children once a year. This might be the funniest short story I have ever read, and the one with the best opening line. A classic!
**** stars.
Great Mysteries Explained is from 1982 and is 3 pages long. 4 great mysteries are tackled in a fashion only John Sladek could tackle: who killed Kennedy; is the Turin shroud genuine; can humans be cloned; and is there intelligent life anywhere in the universe? All answered in just a little over 2 pages. Written for Asimov's SF Magazine, I'm sure at least that scientist got quite a chuckle from this. Two laugh-out-loud stories in a row!
*** 1/2 stars.
Red Noise is from 1982, and is 8 pages long. A non-musician (Sladek) writes a story about music. A genius producer figures out a way to create music from dead recording artists, to keep the money rolling in. His method works well, but then he wants to take things a step further. Sladek, the great murder-mystery writer (see above) gets to unmask a murderer and put his evil deed to good use.
*** stars.
Guesting is from 1982, and is 9 pages long. This is perhaps the first actual living alien I have ever come across in reading Sladek, whose SF is better described by the title of this little volume of short stories. After being worked on by military intelligence, they decide it's time to break it to the world that aliens exist and that one of them walks amoung us. They set up a guest spot on a TV show. However, at the last minute the alien is pulled from the show and replaced by a mass murderer, who will get better ratings. A very funny look at ourselves, as is usual from the author.
*** 1/2 stars.
Absent Friends is from 1984, and is 7 pages long. A robot raises a glass to absent friends, and tells a tale to the bar crowd. Origianlly planned as a small section of Tic Tok, instead it became a stand alone story.
** 1/2 stars.
After Flaubert is from 1976, and is 5 pages long. Imagine if John Sladek had just finished reading some books by the French author, then wrote a short story loosely based on his style. Voila!
*** stars.
The Brass Monkey is from 1976, and is 9 pages long. Skinner behaviourism is now used by the government to control things like crime. It really works! However, sometimes there are a few brass monkeys that just won't conform. A disturbing tale of a possible future.
*** stars.
The White Hat is from 1984, first published here. It is 7 pages long. For the second time in this book, there are aliens! These creepy little things like to ride humans like horses, as well as watch westerns on TV to learn how to act. Pretty strange stuff, even by Sladek's standards. In his afterword he claims that animal rights were part of the reason he wrote this story. Funny but very scary, too.
*** stars.
The Island of Dr. Circe is from 1984, first published here. It is 6 pages long. More or less a traditional SF or weird tale, a man is taken to the island of Circe to see for himself if it has any bearing on the Homer legend. It sort of does, though he returns from his mission with no proof of its existence. I'm not used to "normal" stories from Sladek, even though this one is pretty good and fairly creepy.
*** stars.
Answers is also from 1984, and is 15 pages long. Tiny life forms evolve from computers and calculators, causing humans to turn into zombies that only stare at their screens, virtually forgetting about any other aspect of their lives. Sound familiar? Sladek could have written this last year about smart phones. A very good story, and quite scary.
*** 1/2 stars.
Breakfast With The Murgatroyds is from 1978, and is 7 pages long. A typical family (in the world of John Sladek) sit down together for breakfast. Every family should be so close.
*** stars.
The Next Dwarf is from 1979, and is 11 pages long. An alien visits Earth, trying to puzzle out the meaning behind the Seven Deadly Sins. Similar to Guesting (above), in his afterword Sladek explains that the two stories are related but somewhat opposite. Either way, Earth does not appear to be a very good planet to visit.
*** 1/2 stars.
An Explanation For The Disappearance Of The Moon is from 1982, and is 6 pages long. Wherein the author ponders the relationship between the moon, the Celts, and money. And perhaps music. He also proves there are no ellipses, and no circles. It all ends in murder.
*** stars.
How to Make Major Scientific Discoveries at Home in Your Spare Time is from 1984, and is 4 pages long. There are sections dealing with solar energy, mathematics, archeology, exploration, quark medicine, philosophy, and evolution. Typical Sladek hilarity.
*** stars.
The Kindly Ones is from 1973, and is 6 pages long. A man sees his doctor for a number of minor ailments, which keep on coming and adding up. The afterword is worth the price of the book.
*** stars.
Fables was first published here in 1984, but were written much earlier. In 3 pages there are 4 fables and an afterword.
** 1/2 stars.
Ursa Minor is from 1983, and is 11 pages long. First published (1983) in Rod Serling's Twilight Zone Magazine, this would have made an appropriate entry in the TV series. A teddy bear gets a lot of attention from the dad who doesn't remember where he got it, but it gets given to his young son as a Christmas present. Nice and creepy, the story ultimately flounders. Even in the afterword, Sladek gives his two reasons why the story fails. My reason is different--no one's lives are ever in jeopardy, especially the little boy's. The bear is damn scary, though.
*** stars.
Calling All Gumdrops is from 1983, and is 8 pages long. Roles are neatly reversed as parents are looked after by their children, and treated as children themselves. Pretty cool! It would make a very unsettling bedtime story for a child of ten or eleven years.
*** stars. Reviews completed October 30th/17
** 1/2 stars.
After Flaubert is from 1976, and is 5 pages long. Imagine if John Sladek had just finished reading some books by the French author, then wrote a short story loosely based on his style. Voila!
*** stars.
The Brass Monkey is from 1976, and is 9 pages long. Skinner behaviourism is now used by the government to control things like crime. It really works! However, sometimes there are a few brass monkeys that just won't conform. A disturbing tale of a possible future.
*** stars.
The White Hat is from 1984, first published here. It is 7 pages long. For the second time in this book, there are aliens! These creepy little things like to ride humans like horses, as well as watch westerns on TV to learn how to act. Pretty strange stuff, even by Sladek's standards. In his afterword he claims that animal rights were part of the reason he wrote this story. Funny but very scary, too.
*** stars.
The Island of Dr. Circe is from 1984, first published here. It is 6 pages long. More or less a traditional SF or weird tale, a man is taken to the island of Circe to see for himself if it has any bearing on the Homer legend. It sort of does, though he returns from his mission with no proof of its existence. I'm not used to "normal" stories from Sladek, even though this one is pretty good and fairly creepy.
*** stars.
Answers is also from 1984, and is 15 pages long. Tiny life forms evolve from computers and calculators, causing humans to turn into zombies that only stare at their screens, virtually forgetting about any other aspect of their lives. Sound familiar? Sladek could have written this last year about smart phones. A very good story, and quite scary.
*** 1/2 stars.
Breakfast With The Murgatroyds is from 1978, and is 7 pages long. A typical family (in the world of John Sladek) sit down together for breakfast. Every family should be so close.
*** stars.
The Next Dwarf is from 1979, and is 11 pages long. An alien visits Earth, trying to puzzle out the meaning behind the Seven Deadly Sins. Similar to Guesting (above), in his afterword Sladek explains that the two stories are related but somewhat opposite. Either way, Earth does not appear to be a very good planet to visit.
*** 1/2 stars.
An Explanation For The Disappearance Of The Moon is from 1982, and is 6 pages long. Wherein the author ponders the relationship between the moon, the Celts, and money. And perhaps music. He also proves there are no ellipses, and no circles. It all ends in murder.
*** stars.
How to Make Major Scientific Discoveries at Home in Your Spare Time is from 1984, and is 4 pages long. There are sections dealing with solar energy, mathematics, archeology, exploration, quark medicine, philosophy, and evolution. Typical Sladek hilarity.
*** stars.
The Kindly Ones is from 1973, and is 6 pages long. A man sees his doctor for a number of minor ailments, which keep on coming and adding up. The afterword is worth the price of the book.
*** stars.
Fables was first published here in 1984, but were written much earlier. In 3 pages there are 4 fables and an afterword.
** 1/2 stars.
Ursa Minor is from 1983, and is 11 pages long. First published (1983) in Rod Serling's Twilight Zone Magazine, this would have made an appropriate entry in the TV series. A teddy bear gets a lot of attention from the dad who doesn't remember where he got it, but it gets given to his young son as a Christmas present. Nice and creepy, the story ultimately flounders. Even in the afterword, Sladek gives his two reasons why the story fails. My reason is different--no one's lives are ever in jeopardy, especially the little boy's. The bear is damn scary, though.
*** stars.
Calling All Gumdrops is from 1983, and is 8 pages long. Roles are neatly reversed as parents are looked after by their children, and treated as children themselves. Pretty cool! It would make a very unsettling bedtime story for a child of ten or eleven years.
*** stars. Reviews completed October 30th/17
RODERICK
Cover art by Chris Moore
There is considerable confusion regarding editions of the two novels contained within this omnibus. Just make certain that you are getting the "complete" Roderick, and not the failed attempt by an American publisher to turn in into a trilogy. Then they only published one-third of it! The first novel, and the one being reviewed here, is called Roderick, or The Education of a Young Machine (1980). The American version only contains 17 of the 26 chapters, so beware.
And quite a unique education it is, too. Roderick, in his early years, watches a lot of television. He is a robot that learns, much like a human, though with a mind that remembers everything and anything. He attends public school, and then Catholic School. He is kidnapped by gypsies and enslaved in a carnival. The steadying influence in his life through all this is Ma and Pa, who adopt him and look after him. That is pretty much the plot.
However, the magic that Sladek creates to tell the story is quite incredible. Much of the same humour that we saw in Reproductive System returns full bore, and again we cry as we laugh. Too much of Sladek's absurdist views are not that absurd at all. There are too many highlights (and lowlights) to mention even a tenth of them. Highlights for me were the conversations Roderick has with Father Warren, in his office at the Catholic school. The I, Robot discussion is the best of all! Sladek comes back to the story again later. Not the Asimov tales, but the original one that influenced him (by Eando Binder, actually two brothers), and we are led to believe that Ma and Pa might have written it. Roderick eventually finds a copy in the attic, amidst many other revelations near the end of the first book. I also love any scene with Ma and Pa.
Lowlights for me were the lynching scene (and subsequent killing of Dr. De'Ath), Roderick's life at the carnival, and anything to do with formal school. Though sometimes very funny, the laughter is often very bitter. Sladek spares very few people and organizations from his caustic wit, and really seems to have it out for medical doctors. What Roderick has to go through is probably what any really intelligent kid has to go through in life. In a bit of a revelation, at one point the conversation goes like this...
Finally Ma said, "So. You don't like people much. I didn't know."
[Roderick replies] "I like you and Pa." After a pause, he added, "And almost anybody else--only one at a time. But when you get them all together, people are so--weird, Ma."
"You'll get used to them..."
It's difficult to recommend a book that has so many depressing scenes and characters. But that is life a lot of the time, isn't it? And somehow we do get used to it. But when we see bad things happening to someone (or thing) that is totally innocent, it can affect us deeply. Sladek makes things more palatable with his incessant dark humour. And (spoiler alert), nothing too bad really happens to Roderick, though he sees and interacts with the worst of humankind. Lucky for him he has Ma and Pa. Everyone needs a Ma and Pa, but not everyone has one.
**** stars. Reviewed Oct. 31st/16
PART 2; RODERICK AT RANDOM,
or The Further Education of A Young Machine (1983)
There is a very deep melancholy that pervades both novels in this remarkable series. Roderick the Robot lives in a very chaotic world, and is being hunted down by the government (to be destroyed) and by a large corporation (to be enslaved). Roderick has no one who understands and cares about him, though he does have a small ragtag band of friends whom he sees off and on. He is always questioning not only himself, but the motives of those around him. He seems to encounter only the dark side of humankind, or the ultra quirky. He longs to find somewhere he can fit, a place where he can be comfortable, happy and productive. Essentially, he wants to be human but doesn't know what it entails nor how to progress.
All the way through the books we feel for Roderick, like a really good kid that somehow gets left behind, or is so misunderstood that his life becomes sheer misery. Roderick never complains, however, and carries on as best he can, until he finally cannot deal with events any longer. Granted, these "events" are disasters magnified by the author, that Roderick seems to always be amidst, much like Charlie Chaplin in "Modern Times." Sladek tries his best to keep things humorous, and he does a fantastic job. But after a while the laughter becomes painful, and we begin to really worry about what will happen to Roderick.
Some people will find Sladek's exaggerated characters, situations, and over-the-top satire too much to bear. Why can't Roderick find someone who can understand him for what he is--a robot?? The ending, without giving anything away, is perfect, possibly the best ending to a SF novel ever. Is our world really as crazy as Sladek makes it to be? If you think not, then you need to look around a little more closely. It can be bearable if you have someone who understands you and can share life and its events with you. But it is not so easily done alone, especially if you have no real purpose or guide. Suicide rates are not sky high because Sladek is exaggerating, but rather because the world seems a rather hopeless place to many people, a lot of them quite intelligent. Though his characters may be a little more ridiculous than those in "real life", his essential message remains solid. Humans are warped beyond repair, and there is little hope for our planet and an ethical solution to its biggest problems if things continue on the same path. Corporations and madmen rule. Sladek does not trust government or corporations. Today, what is left besides these two choices??
As the 2nd book gets closer to the end, the discussions about artificial intelligence get deeper and deeper. These books were written over 30 years ago, and our current total acceptance of robot "slaves" is now complete. We have not reached the enlightened stage of development where even highly intelligent animals have worthwhile rights, so I doubt even a rudimentary version of AI can expect very much from us. We can laugh, we can cry, but the world marches on to its inevitable doom.
I loved both books, though they are at times very painful to read. And they are still the best thing ever written about robots becoming human.
**** stars. Reviewed Nov. 23rd/16
**** stars. Reviewed Nov. 23rd/16
TIK-TOK
Published in 1983, this is the next book written by the author following his second Roderick novel, published in the same year. That makes three robot novels in a row. Obsession? It won him a major SF award in 1984. This is one unbelievably strange book. I was hooked from the first few pages onward and could not stop reading (and laughing). It is the blackest book I have ever read, with the blackest humour I have ever come across. It is a minor miracle that this novel ever reached publication. Today I don't think any publisher would touch such a story.
Whereas Roderick tells the tale of a hapless robot searching for meaning to its existence, one who is used, misunderstood, and bullied relentlessly (and it's still very funny, too), Tik-Tok is the story of a robot who knows exactly what it wants and how to get it. Continually tearing away at Asimov's "I, Robot," Sladek gives us one of the most violently psychotic characters ever created in fiction, if not the most psychotic. And it is very, very funny. Cape Fear may have told of a similar character, but it is not a very funny story.
Like much of Sladek's SF writing, the tale is so absurd and brilliant as to almost defy examination. Every page has examples of some of the strangest writing I have ever come across.
In the awful art gallery on the ground floor were now 'Brass Rubbings of Serbian Radios' along with 'Mouth Paintings to Jazz: a Retrospective.'
Or this:
The scholarly-looking Jack Wax, wanted for engaging in illicit sexual behavior with telephone poles, seemed harmless enough by comparison with Sherm Chimini, the 'Armpit Rapist.'
The character of Tik-Tok the robot, named after a robot character from the Oz books, is certainly one that you will never forget once you have met him. From plantation slave to candidate for Vice President of the USA, his life is a pretty interesting one. And as his story develops, the reader begins to see why he is how he is, and why humans are such "shit bellies."
If you do not "get" really really black humour, then stay as far away from this book as you can. It will give you nightmares and make you hate the author. If, on the other hand, black humour feeds your soul, then you are in for possibly the best read of your life. Not to be missed.
**** stars. Reviewed Dec. 25th/16
What a wonderful and amazing book this turned out to be! I originally tracked it down because it has the two short stories Sladek wrote featuring Thackeray Phin, the private detective. I enjoyed his Black Aura immensely, and have his second detective novel on the back burner, reader to go. However, I wanted to read about Phin's first case, published in 1972. Sladek entered a contest sponsored by the Times of London, winning it with "By an Unknown Hand," a locked room mystery that Sladek is unbeatable at. Also included is an even shorter mystery starring Phin, "It Takes Your Breath Away." I am glad I found these two stories, and enjoyed them immensely.
Whereas Roderick tells the tale of a hapless robot searching for meaning to its existence, one who is used, misunderstood, and bullied relentlessly (and it's still very funny, too), Tik-Tok is the story of a robot who knows exactly what it wants and how to get it. Continually tearing away at Asimov's "I, Robot," Sladek gives us one of the most violently psychotic characters ever created in fiction, if not the most psychotic. And it is very, very funny. Cape Fear may have told of a similar character, but it is not a very funny story.
Like much of Sladek's SF writing, the tale is so absurd and brilliant as to almost defy examination. Every page has examples of some of the strangest writing I have ever come across.
In the awful art gallery on the ground floor were now 'Brass Rubbings of Serbian Radios' along with 'Mouth Paintings to Jazz: a Retrospective.'
Or this:
The scholarly-looking Jack Wax, wanted for engaging in illicit sexual behavior with telephone poles, seemed harmless enough by comparison with Sherm Chimini, the 'Armpit Rapist.'
The character of Tik-Tok the robot, named after a robot character from the Oz books, is certainly one that you will never forget once you have met him. From plantation slave to candidate for Vice President of the USA, his life is a pretty interesting one. And as his story develops, the reader begins to see why he is how he is, and why humans are such "shit bellies."
If you do not "get" really really black humour, then stay as far away from this book as you can. It will give you nightmares and make you hate the author. If, on the other hand, black humour feeds your soul, then you are in for possibly the best read of your life. Not to be missed.
**** stars. Reviewed Dec. 25th/16
BUGS
Cover art by Paul Sample
Despite
the very manic cover, Mr. Sladek has toned things down considerably in
this novel from 1989 (my edition is 1991). Its 224 pages are certainly
Sladek at his best, but he has toned things down by about 33%, making
the story accessible to more readers, though not in any way
disappointing any loyal fans (like me). Dave Barry or Bill Bryson have
not skewered America any better than John Sladek. By the time America
is finished dealing with Manfred Evelyn Jones (Fred), a British writer who came
over on the advice of his agent, he is a broken man in more ways than
one.
As
with most Sladek novels, the hero, whether man or robot, is put through
more severe tests than the Biblical character Job. The plot matters
little, though I will recap it very briefly. Fred soon leaves New York
disillusioned and broke, and his wife returns to London. He moves to
Minneapolis and becomes involved in several hare-brained adventures when
he is hired by a suburban company to help make a soldier robot for the
army. Fired, hired, fired again and rehired, Fred trudges on stoically,
becoming involved with the KGB, a feminist agent who hates his guts, and the
boss's wife. And the robot.
The
robot's personality is not fleshed out nearly as much as in Roderick or
Tik Tok, but we learn enough to understand what it is going through.
Programmed by a psychopathic human, its action soon become all too
familiar. Through the eyes of Fred we get hilarious and unforgettable
glimpses of America, from the New York subway and Minneapolis bus
system, to shopping malls and fast food, and especially TV news. The
satire is non-stop, and virtually every page has some gleaning of truth
to it. Written almost 30 years ago, it is quite apparent that things
have gotten much worse since then, as American social habits continue to
decline and spread across the world.
I
loved this book, and only wish the author was around today to write an
even more scathing one, if that is possible. If you found his other
books too difficult to get through, this might be a better lead-in to
his unique writing style and his humour. If you don't like this one,
you will not likely appreciate his other ones, though the two Roderick
novels, The Reproductive System, and Tik Tok are somewhat better, for
all their manic insanity. Highly recommended.
***1/2 stars. Reviewed December 5th/17Maps
From 2002
What a wonderful and amazing book this turned out to be! I originally tracked it down because it has the two short stories Sladek wrote featuring Thackeray Phin, the private detective. I enjoyed his Black Aura immensely, and have his second detective novel on the back burner, reader to go. However, I wanted to read about Phin's first case, published in 1972. Sladek entered a contest sponsored by the Times of London, winning it with "By an Unknown Hand," a locked room mystery that Sladek is unbeatable at. Also included is an even shorter mystery starring Phin, "It Takes Your Breath Away." I am glad I found these two stories, and enjoyed them immensely.
However, the book is filled with other treasures, many of 1st
magnitude, that proves he was not only a great writer, but someone who
was comfortable in many genres. There are enough SF stories to keep
fans interested, but there are other mysteries, some avant-garde
writing, poetry, some hilarious short plays, and other stories that defy
categorization. The book is divided into sections as follows: Stories, Mostly--21 short stories, including the harrowing "Blood and Gingerbread," a retelling of Hansel and Gretel that is disturbing enough to give one nightmares. Poems and Playlets--14 delicacies here! Sladek Incognito--some impossible to find stories he wrote under other names (8 stories). Sladek and Disch--11 stories co-authored, many of them very funny and worth more than one reading. Sladek on Sladek--5 essays by the author.
This book was a great find, and will likely be read more than once. I
am now on the look out for more of this great man's writing.
**** stars. Reviewed Sept. 12th/16
Page proofread March 21st, 2019
**** stars. Reviewed Sept. 12th/16
Page proofread March 21st, 2019
Mapman Mike
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